My Last Workshop with Mr. Karl

Unfortunately, Peanut Butter has left us- he is gone becuase well, we don't have any more workshops with him., But I have to tell you, it was a blast. I cannot explain to you, how much fun I had! From talking about British accents, to working with really sharp needles, to stupid life. I spent some very good quality time with those around me. And on top of that, I ACTUALLY finished my book- its as if my internal clock went off, indicating the rest of my body to work as fast as possible. Anyways, I ended up finishing the "draft" book, which becuase of time is now my book, and I drew a cute little picture that I have been obsessed with lately, and decorated it with ribbons. I think it looks pretty, and will use both books I made- without a doubt. If I may though, and please excuse me for being so straight, I really feel like I missed something in the Jim Bonni Workshop- only because everyone made it sound as if they were traveling to space. I hope no one feels offended, but I do feel like I missed something life changing. Whatever though, can't wait for the photo workshop tomorrow :).

Mr. Karl...

Some new updates of our book....I am doing Japanese binding, but it is so difficult! I keep on running into problems- knots, where does the needle go now, etc. But I am trying my best- however, from tomorrow, Mr. Karl, won't be there anymore; :(. How will we survive without Mr. Karl? Its like having jelly, without peanut butter...I think we all are going to miss his refreshing presence, but will be Gretal, in that he taught us all how to bind books, and use resources around us to make things we need. More books

Storytelling Workshop

That was such a delight! I felt so good being back in the days where life was all fun and games. But a big pat of that was that fact that I got so comfortable with Ms. Julia (which I did not expect),- she has such a friendly, open and inspiring personality, that it makes you smile.
We started off with introducing ourselves, and then shaking it all out/ getting ourselves loose, then came this storytelling activity with the magic crystal ball, and then her storytelling, us storytelling, and then another round of the crystal ball. I enjoyed it all- the whole concept of using every talent you have to get one idea across, really appeals to me. The best pat though, was when WE got to do improv- with a bit of planning. I loved playign the big bad wolf and then the grandmother. I felt so :).
One thing that affected me the most though was how much I miss being free- and I have noticed that I am becoming more like that lately, but at the same time, I feel like I am losing myself in that, so I need to get my life on the right track. Another thing was that, people said that the Jim Boni workshop was similar to this, and I really want to experience that then- it seems so interesting, and moving, and :).

Mr. Carl...OUR books

Okay, so now that we finished our books, which if I may, looked amazing (with a few glitches here and there), we will be starting our own designed books. And since I don't exactly write with a serious passion like Ilana, or have a 365, where I take a picture of myself, I don't have a special aim for it, I am doing it for the fun of it. My book, so far is (you can click on it, to see it better)...

Mr. Carl....Take 3

I had tons of fun on Wednesday. We finally completed our books....glued all the corners down, which I actually failed at because they came out extremely angular. Then, we added an extra black paper to the spine, and finally glued down our books. Oh, wait, in between we bent our spine in a bit to make it look like a real book. The final product will be seen tomorrow, but I am so excited and proud of myself. The process was fairly simple, but still, I made my OWN book.
Now, for my future project though, I haven't been able to think of a mind blowing idea- nor do I think I want to. I really like the very organic and simple books, so I am thinking a ribbon will do best, and maybe some kind of cloth (I am not sure what, and am planning to ask Peanut Butter tomorrow). I cannot wait to see all that people come up with, and the end results for that :)

A little change in plans

So I am not doing charcoal (profile) drawings anymore, but instead a movement over time type of installment- involving photography, dance, a wall, tracing, tons of help, paint/ pencils, etc. As I get to understand/ come up with more ideas, I will keep y'all updated...

Mr. Carl....Take 2

Continuing from where we left off last time, it was now time to create the cover. We first measured the "faces" and spine of the book- and cut out, with those measurements, cardboard type of things to serve as the "hard" part of the cover (but added about an inch to the parts on top and bottom). Afterwards, we cut out black paper using the same measurements (we just added about an inch to the sides now). And we glued the cardboard pieces onto the paper, making sure we leave space around the spine, enabling the book to be able to fold. I believe that next time, we will learn how to attach the pages onto the "cover." It has been an enjoyable process only because I am learning so much, not only about creating books, but also the styles in which you present them, their "origin," etc. I have to admit though, that I was not able to master the process we just learned, I needed A LOT of help from Mr. Carl, who was happy to oblige. I cannot wait for more, and as Cassie said, redeem myself :)

4th Quarter

Can you believe it, we are already in the 4th quarter! I am going to be a sophomore next year- but at the same time that saddens me, thinking about all those that are going to leave/ those that I am going to have to leave.
Anyways, enough with the emotions...I will be reading Blood Memory by Martha Graham :). And I will attempt to do a charcoal drawing (profile of someone) on those days that I am freeeeeeeee

Book Binding Workshop Day 1

I love English accents- especially Mr. Carl saying peanut butter....Ashley literally has become a fan. But besides that, what interested me the most, was the fact that, ever since a child, I have been wondering of the process through which a book is bound, and today my answers came though Mr. Carl. It was sooo cool/ different/ unique- kinda like knowing what that thing is at the end of your shoelace, to have been in the workshop. I learnt about signatures, and English people, and bones being used to make paper folds crisp, Ilana being kept away from sharp objects, and metal presses, and Cassie's epic fail(ness)with cutting paper (which, did you know can come out like cool, frazzled paper, with simply a ruler, and a lot of paper) and sewing.

The best part of all though, was how much happiness I felt in the end- I mean, come on, I freakin bound paper! Thats very much beastly. Moreover, I liked how we kinda bonded...talking about random things, learning how to make paper look cooler, helping each other in the small details, all sinking together, etc. I can't wait till Friday to make a cover....I can positively promise that I will be very proud that day :)

The only thing left do is, figure out what to put in it...

Today's Presentation

I was nervous. Period. End of story. I think I did okay only because I addressed the questions, or at least I think I did, to my fullest. Unfortunately, I stumbled...using umms way too often. I did not have any notes or slideshow to help me out, which I usually do prepare, but this weekend was way too stressful for that, and so felt that I rambled too much on what I gained, and less on the book itself. I feel that I shouldn't have been trying to look out in the familiar faces for one that would just calm me down (usually that's what I do with my other friends). All in all though, I feel good for going up and getting out all the thoughts that I had wanted to, even if it might not have been done in the "smoothest" way.

Friday

Friday was really, very nice. It felt so great to look at what others have been toiling over for the past month....from  the charcoals and the movies. i like hearing critiques about everything because then it allows you to see flaws in your own work- to see where your lacking and where you need to start improving. I want the rest of my year to be focused on improving. Everything. From school work, to time management, to dance, to friends, to friends to family, to behavior. I guess its never too late to make a new year's resolution.

....

This is an article on Twyla Tharp's piece on Broadway.... I read her book, The Creative Habit, and had read about this, but am more excited to know/ hope that it is easily accessible.

the link to the article, or it is right below
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/01/theater/01tharp.html

Twyla Tharp has been choreographing to the music of Frank Sinatra since the 1970s, but “Come Fly Away” brings her Sinatra dances to Broadway for the first time. Charles Isherwood, a theater critic for The New York Times, hailed it as “a major new work of pop dance theater,” while The Times’s chief dance critic Alastair Macaulay called the choreography “less sensational than sensationalistic” and “intimacy perverted into exhibitionism.”

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

Rika Okamoto and Matthew Stockwell Dibble in the choreographer Twyla Tharp’s Broadway show “Come Fly Away,” set to Frank Sinatra songs. 

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

Charlie Neshyba-Hodges and Laura Mead in Twyla Tharp’s “Come Fly Away,” a dance pop piece on Broadway. More Photos >

How can two experts see one show so differently? The critics continued their conversation on the ArtsBeat blog. Here’s an edited and condensed version of their exchange; the entire discussion is at artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/come-fly-away/:
CHARLES ISHERWOOD Alastair, I’m sorry you found so little to enjoy in the show, particularly since there’s more dancing in it than there has been in probably the last five seasons of Broadway musicals! But I fear a lot of what you object to in “Come Fly Away” is what makes it viable as a Broadway production. Twyla Tharp needed to consider the perceptions of audiences who are not necessarily sophisticated viewers of dance. In fact, by the standards of dancing on Broadway, “Come Fly Away” is very accomplished indeed, and if it seeks to entertain rather than show off Ms. Tharp’s gifts at their most subtle, that’s only to be expected. I think it’s exciting that a choreographer of her stature continues to tackle the challenge of bringing pure dance shows to Broadway. Nobody else is doing it, and it’s probable that even Ms. Tharp wouldn’t have the chance if it weren’t for the jukebox musical phenomenon.
Can you think of a contemporary choreographer whose work would be able to hold its own on a Broadway stage today?
ALASTAIR MACAULAY Charles, let’s establish a few things first in case readers misunderstand us. You go to a great deal of dance, perhaps more than any theater critic of the present day; and I go to a great deal of theater. (I’m writing this in London, where between dance performances, I’m catching up with theater.) So I imagine you can answer the question you’re asking perfectly well.
Quantitatively speaking, you’re right: there’s lots of dance in “Come Fly Away.” Qualitatively speaking is another matter; I’d rather look at several dance parts of “Billy Elliot” or even a couple of sections of “Fela!” (which I don’t much like over all) than most of “Come Fly Away.” Some of the individual dances in the Tharp show are good or better than that, but the context stops making them look good: they’re miscast, or they’re wasted in this undramatic clubland nonevent.
And we’re critics: our first task is not to determine what big-theater audiences will like but what we think is good and why. We’re critics because we have criteria and we use them: different criteria on some occasions, but serious criteria to us. Sometimes we’re both going to object strongly to shows that we can see are very popular indeed; sometimes we’re both going to enthuse passionately about productions that leave most people cold.
The question is not “Who could have done this better than Tharp?” but “Why isn’t this remotely as good as Tharp’s best work?”
ISHERWOOD I was simply curious to know if you could identify some choreographers who might have the talent to wed serious choreography with a more populist show. As much dance as I see, I see a lot less than you. And I certainly don’t let considerations of box office or the potential audience appeal of a show influence my opinion. To a critic such considerations are immaterial, or should be.
But a full-scale Broadway show and a more intimate piece made for a ballet company (like “Nine Sinatra Songs,” which [in your review] you much prefer to “Come Fly Away”) are vastly different animals and need to be considered as such. Twyla Tharp is a smart woman, and she knew that to make this material work on a large-scale, full-evening basis, some showmanship was necessary.
I also think we disagree about the nature of the event. For me “Come Fly Away” is not intended to be about intimacy as much as it is about the performative aspects of romantic attachment, the roles that men and women play when they are courting each other in public. It takes place in a nightclub, after all. So in that sense I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you call the show’s “exhibitionism.” It’s about the pas de deux as a public mating dance.
MACAULAY Yes, I’m afraid we differ about the nature of this event. We also differ about the nature of what’s appropriate for Broadway. I don’t accept that entertainment and subtlety are opposites or that an artist need choose one rather than the other. Do you think Fred Astaire decided to abandon subtlety so as to be entertaining? I certainly don’t. Do you think ballet isn’t entertainment? George Balanchine would have disagreed. The same can even happen in the jukebox musical, a genre I’ve often enjoyed. (I’ve loved “Mamma Mia!” since its West End premiere.) Twyla Tharp more or less invented the jukebox ballet with “Deuce Coupe” (1973), which I adore. So it was fair to hope she’d be right for this show.

You think she does it well; I don’t. I very much like your phrase “the performative aspects of romantic attachment.” There’s a degree to which being in love involves role playing and other aspects of acting, isn’t there? That’s much of what I love in a good tango show, for example. But for me the performing in “Come Fly Away” isn’t either absorbing or convincing. Babe, Hank, Sid, et al. aren’t interesting characters; theirs aren’t interesting stories. Can Ms. Tharp distinguish the public side of erotic behavior from porn? “Come Fly Away” makes much of a lift that Balanchine made sensational in 1957: the crotch-splitting lift with thighs and groin opening right at the audience. It’s not really a subtle lift in the first place; it can still seem shocking. But Ms. Tharp recycles and recycles it here: it becomes mere sensationalism.
I don’t mean to sound prudish. But the nightclub where people need to keep carrying on like the pathetically exhibitionistic creeps in “Come Fly Away” is not a nightclub in which I want to stay; they’re bores.
ISHERWOOD “Pathetically exhibitionistic creeps”? But also “bores”? I myself find the occasional exhibitionistic creep I encounter to be anything but boring. Far better than the mousy, introverted kind who resolutely refuse to scamper around doing jetés and arabesques.
A few defensive thrusts here: Of course I do not believe subtlety and entertainment are incompatible, or that Broadway is a wasteland when it comes to art, so no need for you to be depressed at the idea that I languish under these benighted illusions. But how you can celebrate “Mamma Mia!” — not what I’d call the epitome of delicacy — and decry “Come Fly Away” as crass is frankly baffling, unless you are judging these works by wholly different standards. As for the porn issue, here at least we can agree on some level. Hate the crotch splits in “Come Fly Away.” Hate the same move in Balanchine’s “Bugaku.” But to suggest that “Come Fly Away” is mostly porn — and boring porn at that! — is reductive.
Anyway, I’ve enjoyed our exchange. We’ll meet when you return from London and have drinks. Or toss them in each other’s faces, as the case may be. (Note to readers: blatant joke, that.)
MACAULAY Please don’t be baffled. No, “Mamma Mia!” is not the epitome of delicacy. Obviously, neither you nor I want all works of art to meet all the same criteria all the time. But if the “Come Fly Away” characters had the exuberance (quite different from exhibitionism) of the “Mamma Mia!” characters or could make us laugh at the absurdity with which they burst into their Sinatra numbers as the “Mamma Mia!” people do, I’d be happy.
“Come Fly Away” is a reductive show; its view of human nature is very limited indeed. And that stops me from liking these dancers or even the bits of Tharp-Sinatra choreography that in other contexts I’ve admired. Here, by the time I get to “That’s Life” and “One for My Baby,” I think, “Enough already.”
I’ll buy the first round of drinks, when we’ll talk mainly about other things anyway. Just now I mainly long to speak of “London Assurance,” which I saw at the National Theater here in London and, like you, loved it. As you know, it contains some very memorable dancing!

A post from my other blog....

pg. 217 "He argues that 'man's' main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but reather to see a meaning in his life. Our fundamental drive, the motivational engine that powers human exsistence, is the pursuit of meaning."
This applies so much to my life/ want I want from my future- I want to be able to say that I helped somebody live...and I have been thinking, that if I do go into medical, then what about Doctor's without Borders? Yet, I want to start now, and that too, without making excuses.

pg. 219 "But there are 2 practical, whole-minded ways for individuals, families, and businesses to begin the search for meaning: start taking spirituality seriously and start taking happiness seriously."This is for me...I really can't explain.

This is the Marina Ambrovic article I was talking about...

Upstairs from the child-friendly wonderland of the Museum of Modern Art’s Tim Burton exhibition, and from the placid, chapel-like room devoted to Monet’s water lilies, the new Marina Abramovic retrospective can be heard before it is seen, and it doesn’t sound inviting. The artist’s screams and moans roll out from the sixth-floor galleries in endless loops, a warning nearly as clear as the three signs advising that the show ahead “may be disturbing for some.”

Suzanne DeChillo/The New York Times

A woman ponders a gallery entrance partly blocked by two naked performers.

For more than a generation, nudity, pain, grueling endurance tests and even bloodletting have been elements of a certain strain of performance art, one Ms. Abramovic helped pioneer. But they have never come together in New York quite as boldly or publicly as they have since the opening this week of the Modern’s new show.
Such visceral, unsettling art used to generate disgust, outrage and the occasional police visit. Yet a day spent watching people watch the show — naked performers re-enacting some of Ms. Abramovic’s most audacious pieces of the last 40 years; the artist herself in an epic endurance performance in the museum’s atrium; videos of Ms. Abramovic slicing a star into her stomach with a razor blade and standing for several minutes with an arrow in a drawn bow aimed at her heart — shows that it takes quite a bit to shake up most museumgoers these days.
“It’s — what shall I say? — yes, it’s crazy, but not as crazy as I thought it would be,” said Jens Buss, 30, a graphic designer visiting from Munich, who had come to see Tim Burton’s artwork but read about Ms. Abramovic and was intrigued. He stared into a large room where a highly illuminated naked woman was on display high on a wall, perched on a small bicycle seat with transparent blocks beneath her feet to support her, a re-creation of a 1997 work called “Luminosity.”
“I was kind of thinking, ‘You know, I would probably do that,’ ” Mr. Buss said. “I was wondering how much she’s getting paid to be up there.”
Throughout the day, a slightly sleepy Wednesday at the museum, the Abramovic galleries were nearly always crowded, with an audience that skewed young but that included the usual array of weekday art patrons: elderly couples, college groups, parents pushing strollers and even a few families with children, like the Frensleys from Nashville. Susanne Frensley, a high school art history teacher, was on vacation with her husband and two daughters and dropped by MoMA not knowing much about Ms. Abramovic’s work.
Standing with one daughter, Eliza, Ms. Frensley explained that, in an excess of caution, she had dispatched “Daddy” to go in to check out the show first before telling her daughters what to expect inside and asking them if they wanted to see it. Both did, though Eliza, 12, with a green shamrock sticker on her cheek for St. Patrick’s Day, was looking a little oppressed toward the exhibition’s end.
“A lot of it is interesting, but it made me feel awkward, I guess,” she said, adding that of all the difficult-to-take work, a grainy video showing a close-up of Ms. Abramovic’s face as she screamed was the most unsettling for her.
“I don’t know why,” Eliza said. “Maybe because you couldn’t see what was going on and couldn’t tell why she was screaming.” (The video shows the 1975 performance “Freeing the Voice,” in which Ms. Abramovic screamed until she lost her voice.)
Probably the most talked-about part of the exhibition — generating headlines like “Squeezy Does It” in The New York Post — is a re-creation of a 1977 work in which Ms. Abramovic and her partner then, the German artist Frank Uwe Laysiepen, known as Ulay, faced each other naked within the frame of a gallery doorway, forcing people who wanted to enter to squeeze between them. Throughout the day at MoMA, some people did submit to the squeeze, with both men and women generally turning to face the female performer when there was a male-female pairing at the door.
But easily two-thirds of MoMA patrons moving from the first gallery into the second stared over at the flesh-flanked doorway — some people staring for an inordinately long time — and then decided to take the art-free route, through a plain doorway that required no bodily contact.
“I just can’t do it,” said Maria Gabriela Madrid, a fiction writer from San Antonio. “I feel like it’s too personal, too much of an invasion of their space.”
She was making her third visit to the show and had demurred every time when she was egged on by a good friend, Midge Dembitzer, a museum volunteer, to pass between the naked performers. (Ms. Dembitzer noted that while some people she spoke to talked of not wanting to bring their children to the show, one of her friends remarked that she was not bringing her husband: “Too many naked women.”)

By afternoon, the crowd had begun to take on a pronounced Kelly green hue, as some revelers from the nearby St. Patrick’s Day parade somehow found their way upstairs. The glittery plastic bowlers, balloon hats and shamrock-antennae headgear made for a strange juxtaposition with a big stomach-churning photograph of Ms. Abramovic scrubbing the blood from heaps of cow bones.
Rather than shock or disgust, though, the overall mood in the galleries tended to be one of great seriousness, occasionally verging on reverence.
Sefu Simms, 28, an aspiring performance artist, described being humbled in the presence of the work. Henk Abma, a former Dutch Reformed Church pastor who said he had followed Ms. Abramovic’s work for 30 years, began his visit by spending half an hour sitting across from the artist herself, who is installed at a table in the museum’s atrium, where she will sit silently all day, every day, barely moving, for the entire run of the show. (The performance will add up to more than 700 hours of sitting if she can complete it.)
But if there was an ideal patron for Ms. Abramovic — who has written of the importance of the “moment when the performance becomes life itself” — the one who came closest was probably Paco Blancas, 48, a New York makeup artist who spent seven uninterrupted hours sitting across from her last Saturday, during a preview of the show. He had returned to the exhibition’s galleries every day, creating a kind of personal performance piece (and becoming so familiar to the guards that they smile at him and say hello.)
“When you sit across from her, and look into her eyes, you feel the public but you don’t see them anymore,” he said. “It’s almost like you are alone with her in this big museum, which is like being a part of the art yourself.”

Kim Possible

Please don't laugh, but, oddly, I was thinking about how much, as a child and even now, I loved to watch Kim Possible. And I realized that the reason for its appeal, is its message...that kids can be anything they want to be- you will not be stopped for doing what your heart says, but instead you will be honored. From the start, society has sent out the message that in life, do what your heart desires, and nothing else. But, you know whats weird, as we get older that changes- but to an extent, in my house it isn't so (kinda). Some of my friends' parents tell them that they have to do _________ because it pays good or its benefits are good. And whenever I talk to family friends about my future they always recommend things that i may benefit from. Except, I don't agree, sometimes I feel yelling at them, that money is not everything. In life, I don't want to be greedy for money- I understand that in this day and age, money is an essential part of survival, but I don't agree with that being your priority. I want to be able to get up every morning, and go to work with a smile on my face. I can't stand this anymore- its frustrating and its DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT.

Charcoal, STAC Art...

I (surprisingly) love drawing with charcoal. It allows you to "draw" without boundaries or worries of whether it will look like "art." It allows you to have fun and put all your hearts' desire out on paper.For some reason though, I especially had fun drawing in expressionist- style...it was fun portraying your message in a way that even YOU could never have dreamt of. Even though, mine weren't "done," I brought them home because after a long time, I was proud of something I had done. And this is sort of funny because I have been feeling like that lately regarding my art- they are not fabulous, but they please me. This reminds me though, that during STAC Art, I saw my corer values, literally jump out at me (and please comment if you think that I may be right, or if it may be a bit different)...

1. innocence vs. growing up
2. organization
3. and standing out, but still blending in.

Innocence because both my drawings had something to do with children- the first, a carousel, and the second, the entire dream portion. Growth because the first one showed (literally) the cycle of life and the second had the section outside the dream as the forces that took you away from the innocence/ naivete- kind of growing up. And standing out, but still blending in because they all were outlined with sharpie, but till seemed to mesh with one another. I would love to hear what you guys would have to say on this.

What I Want to Do....

In STAC, I really want to learn these few things or pick up form others:
- good computer programs for editing, pictures, movies, etc.
- how to identify certain things in movies
- how to identify if a certain technology is good (do you know what I mean?)
- and so on...
It can be seen that technology really interests me- I like learning about programs, and playing around with them. But the only problem is that my dad is not very computer savvy, so I have to usually "dig" around for information. I want to take full advantage of my time in STAC and absorb as much as possible :).
P.S.....

Book Reflection Thingy

Mr.Luke-                                                                                                                                                                                                        All I can say is thank you. This book, The Creative Habit, taught me some amazing lessons dealing with creativity. This may be unknown to you, but my biggest problem with creativity is that, I cannot let ideas flow- I either turn them done too early or they just don’t come; which I can positively say is almost everyone’s problem as well. Except this book helped solve that- and so will show you what I want, that I learnt from the book, to implant more in my “process/ work”(in no specific order). Firstly, I learnt that everything/ anything can only be achieved through hard work and the desire to do it. It said on page 9 "No one is born with skill. It is developed through exercise, through repetition, through a blend of learning and reflection that's both painstaking and rewarding." and pg. 173 "Without passion, all the skill in the world won't lift you above craft."Only after you put your heart, soul and sweat in something, can you see the results- only then can you feel proud of having accomplished a feat. I don’t know if this sounds quite “repetitive” of what is already known in the World, but I am telling the truth. Sometimes, I can get lazy, and just do something half heart-heartedly, and other times, I try and put all my efforts into trying to get “past the moon,” and this kind of acts like a reminder for me. Secondly, what many people may define me by: fear. I can be brave at times, but at other times, I get nervous, and partly of others/ what they think, or even what God may think. In my book there were a couple of pages, that really made me confident… pg. 32 "There's nothing wrong with fear; the only mistake is to let it stop you in your tracks." and pg. 213 "But there is a therapeutic power to failure. It cleanses...Private failures are great...The more you fail in private, the less you will fail in public." This reminds me of the Indian movie I told you about; everything has another side to it- one through which you can learn, so it kind of makes me look at life a bit more positively. You know, at one point, I was actually quite positive, and then I don’t know what happened, but these quotes kind of made me feel good about life in general, especially creating – I feel as if I will try something new, something that I may not actually “want” to do- and I feel I have done a bit of that in STAC Art; I created/ am creating a drawing that I usually wouldn’t do. Plus, she targeted specific fears, which I absolutely loved…. pg. 22 "Someone has done it before?....Get over yourself." and pg. 23 "Once executed, the idea will never be as good as it is in my mind?...But better an imperfect dome in Florence than cathedrals in the clouds." and pg. 89 "My solution for them: This isn't working. Free yourself. Get out of this box. Out it away for another day and start a new box...You can always come back to it." Now, before I go on, I want to apologize for kind of just stating the quotes and not explaining them to you regarding context, but I have a lot to say, and want to keep it as short as possible :). Solitude. I find this scary, to tell you truth. She writes on pg. 31 "You're seeking thoughts from the unconscious, and trying to tease them forward until you can latch onto them. An idea will sneak into your brain....Solitude is an unavoidable part of creativity. Self-reliance is a happy by-product." I don’t know what it is about that, but I literally might start crying if I ever have to stay in seclusion; I want to say it is something to do with self-confidence. So I am not asking for pity, but instead will work on re-connecting with myself, and maybe I will allow the juice to flow in my head- allow ideas to come out without any fear :). So, this is where I stop about this….I told you about me wanting to work harder, gain more courage, and even confidence- and these three, will definitely help me use it “my art-” I hope I was able to explain to you fully what exactly I learnt; sorry, this is kind of new to me :).               

 Now, on to my blog, I actually like this. Okay, so some days, it feels like, ahhhhhhh! but then other days, I really enjoy it because you learn so much! I “technically” missed a day based on the calendar- and am now up to my 19^th day; which even though is much, I am proud. I accomplished keeping something up for more than half a month. Oh wait! I forgot to explain to you exactly what I was doing! So I am reading books (regarding creativity of course) and posting my favorite quote(s) and reactions of mine- which doesn’t sound much, but it helps a lot in viewing what exactly I learned. My goals for the future with this, is that to make it continue. To be able to say that I have a blog in which I write every day, dedicatedly. As a parting word, I have to say that this really helps in implementing what you learn from the books you read, in your “work.”

I’m not sure if I did this right, or if it is good, but this felt good; it’s nice getting your thoughts out in the open (sometimes).

-Kadambari

Avatar

So I entered the movie theater thinking this is going to be another stupid action film, with no plot except for blood and gore. Well, I was wrong. Okay, it did have some action- involving blood/ deaths, but the lesson of the story was mind-blowing. The message- that we are inhumane, with no souls. We do everything to get to the top, instead of enjoying the simple things around us (such as nature, or even to an extent God). It made me feel so angry at those stupid people, laughing and enjoying the destruction of the soul of the people, the Big Tree- and so very happy when they were being killed, one by one. It is the movie, that like for many others, blew my mind away.

I noticed that (which others probably did, too)  the island, named Pandora, can be connected to the Pandora's Box. It's as if the humans opened up Pandora, and opened Pandora to both good (new technology) and evil (hunger for power and wealth). But unlike the humans, the Avatars did not let that affect them, but instead worked against it because (in my opinion) they had God.

Short and Sweet

This is something I had written, and it is a bit incomplete/ kinda sudden, but I wanted some feedback...

In  the darkness I lay, 

with only a gleam of light.

But how do I reach it? 

How do I grab it?

I need help from the one beyond.

I was getting ready to go to bed a couple of nights ago, and this came to mind...but i didn't want to edit it...I wanted to see how people would respond to it as is.

Coans

Hi Everyone! So the Saints won today....isn't that awesome? Anyways, the Coan Party, in my opinion was AWESOME! I had so much fun because on a daily basis, I tend to (involuntarily), I try to "pick people apart." And I don't mean it physically, but instead their personality and behavior. But to be able to sit down and actually write something on that, is the greatest feeling in the World- and luckily, in few cases, I kind of pinpointed it :). In my case, it was interesting to read what other people wrote about me...which was along the lines of "When will the World see the real me? But I felt that wasn't it....I felt that it should have been more along the lines of How do I know, who the real me is? therefore the closest one was Cassie's of " How do I find the balance in my life?" This has left me to wonder how do people see themselves? And how does that differ from others? (I guess everyone does at some point, don't they?) Plus, how can we attempt to answer our coans- how can we try to find the answer to our unanswerable questions?

P.S. I will be creating my new blog very soon....I finally got the book :)

Blah....

My Artistic Statement

Kadambari Suri

 If someone was to ever ask you, what would you use to define yourself as a person, what would your answer be?  In my case, this is EXACTLY what I have been asked to do, as well as connecting that to my art, so here goes…

I have been dancing for as long as I can remember- but began taking professional classes from age 7. The reason was not that my mother was a professional dancer and had pushed me, but instead because I had fallen in love with it, and the whole concept of telling a story through physical movements. On the other hand, acting was introduced to me. In my pre-school, an agency had come and interviewed us kids, from which I was chosen, and therefore able to discover what pleasure could be found from becoming somebody else.  

I dance and act because of the individuality I can include in it. In dance, I can follow my structure in which I break the music in to sections- to reach a certain level of organization, one of my core values. Furthermore, I can portray any expression through my hands, body language, and facial expression that my heart feels fit for a certain part, because not one dancer is created to dance like another or one actor to portray a role the same way.

My desire to feel a certain connection, also a core value is fulfilled. I wish for the audience to, say in acting, experience the emotions, or in dancing, feel that adrenaline rush I feel while performing- to make them get up in their seats, or have them WANT to clap. And on another level, to feel a connection with God (in the case of dancing). In my culture, we pray before we dance as an apology to the Mother Earth for “stomping” on her, as well as to show the Gods that what we will be doing is an offering for them.

My future goals. These include: spreading my knowledge on dance- learning other forms of dance, besides the ones that I have learnt or attempted to teach myself, and in acting, to learn how to act as one with the character, in the sense of not being uncomfortable doing that certain action.  

And therefore my answer can be summed up in two words. Dance. Drama.

Core Values and Issues (Updated)....

So I had actually completed my assignment a couple of days ago, but then today (with the help of many) I realized that I had gottten it all wrong, therefore this is the updated version...

Core Values:
1. connectedness and relationships BUT still being different
2. expression
3. organization/ perfection (according to my "expectations)"
4. doing the right thing

Issues:
1. expression
2. structure

What You Never Realize

So after a really long time, I sat down and made a birthday card for one of my best friends. I didn't realize till that moment how much I had misssed art. When I was younger, art was my life- either it being singing everywhere, going to dance or just doing something creative with colors and paper. So when I sat down, not only was I reminded of times when life was less stressful, but also of how much I missed doing this. I have a huge drawer and a place in my clostet for art supplies- and like a little child, I took half my drawer out, and started to experiment like I would for fun when I was younger. This has caused me to want to go back to it....like a lot of other things....which I wnated to present today:

• art (for fun): on a Friday night, instead of lazying around, maybe do somehting creative or new- experiment new techniques of art and see what I can come up with 
• dance: my parents and I have decided that for fun and a nice workout, I should just dance on a five minute song every week- not only so I have songs ready in case I need to ever perform it somewhere, but also so I can become a better dancer....and this includes practicing my dance "items," which I have putting off. 
• baking: I used to LOVE baking...every weekend, I would create cakes or brownies or whatever my dad and brother requested for (my mom and I hate that kind of stuff), and so I might want to go back to that,
• and read: till this September, all I did was read in my spare time- for some reason, I found pleasure in that- like I could be transformed into another space for free, or without much movement- I NEED to read more often- I have started feeling really incomplete without my books :).

Well, its almost 8:13...gotta go to second period :).

Enegram Test

I am.....a NUMBER ONE- TWO (but I am not sure what that two means) :)

That means that (from http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typeOne.asp):

Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.

• Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective
• Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
• Enneagram One with a Nine-Wing: "The Idealist"
• Enneagram One with a Two-Wing: "The Advocate"

Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), methodical Ones suddenly become moody and irrational at Four. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), angry, critical Ones become more spontaneous and joyful, like healthy Sevens. 

Examples: Mahatma Gandhi, Hilary Clinton, Al Gore, John Paul II, Elliot Spitzer , Sandra Day O'Connor, John Bradshaw, Bill Moyers, Martha Stewart, Ralph Nader, Katherine Hepburn, Harrison Ford, Vanessa Redgrave, Jane Fonda, Meryl Streep, George Harrison, Celene Dion, Joan Baez, George Bernard Shaw, Noam Chomsky, Michael Dukakis, Margaret Thatcher, Rudolph Guliani, Jerry Brown, Jane Curtin, Gene Siskel, William F. Buckley, Kenneth Starr, The "Church Lady" (Saturday Night Live), and "Mr. Spock" (Star Trek).

Type One Overview:

We have named personality type One The Reformer because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

History is full of Ones who have left comfortable lives to do something extraordinary because they felt that something higher was calling them. During the Second World War, Raoul Wallenburg left a comfortable middle-class life to work for the protection of thousands of European Jews from invading Nazis. In India, Gandhi left behind his wife and family and life as a successful lawyer to become an itinerant advocate of Indian independence and non-violent social changes. Joan of Arc left her village in France to restore the throne to the Dauphin and to expel the English from the country. The idealism of each of these Ones has inspired millions.

Ones are people of practical action—they wish to be useful in the best sense of the word. On some level of consciousness, they feel that they “have a mission” to fulfill in life, if only to try their best to reduce the disorder they see in their environment.

Although Ones have a strong sense of purpose, they also typically feel that they have to justify their actions to themselves, and often to others as well. This orientation causes Ones to spend a lot of time thinking about the consequences of their actions, as well as about how to keep from acting contrary to their convictions. Because of this, Ones often persuade themselves that they are “head” types, rationalists who proceed only on logic and objective truth. But, the real picture is somewhat different: Ones are actually activists who are searching for an acceptable rationale for what they feel they must do. They are people of instinct and passion who use convictions and judgments to control and direct themselves and their actions.

In the effort to stay true to their principles, Ones resist being affected by their instinctual drives, consciously not giving in to them or expressing them too freely. The result is a personality type that has problems with repression, resistance, and aggression. They are usually seen by others as highly self- controlled, even rigid, although this is not how Ones experience themselves. It seems to them that they are sitting on a cauldron of passions and desires, and they had better “keep the lid on” lest they and everyone else around them regret it.

Ones believe that being strict with themselves (and eventually becoming “perfect”) will justify them in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. But by attempting to create their own brand of perfection, they often create their own personal hell. Instead of agreeing with the statement in Genesis that God saw what He had created, “and it was good,” Ones intensely feel that “It wasn’t—there obviously have been some mistakes here!” This orientation makes it difficult for them to trust their inner guidance—indeed, to trust life—so Ones come to rely heavily on their superego, a learned voice from their childhood, to guide them toward “the greater good” which they so passionately seek. When Ones have gotten completely entranced in their personality, there is little distinction between them and this severe, unforgiving voice. Separating from it and seeing its genuine strengths and limitations is what growth for Ones is about.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 99-100)

Type One—More Depth by Level

Healthy Levels

Level 1(At Their Best): Become extraordinarily wise and discerning. By accepting what is, they become transcendentally realistic, knowing the best action to take in each moment. Humane, inspiring, and hopeful: the truth will be heard.

Level 2: Conscientious with strong personal convictions: they have an intense sense of right and wrong, personal religious and moral values. Wish to be rational, reasonable, self-disciplined, mature, moderate in all things.

Level 3: Extremely principled, always want to be fair, objective, and ethical: truth and justice primary values. Sense of responsibility, personal integrity, and of having a higher purpose often make them teachers and witnesses to the truth.

Average Levels

Level 4: Dissatisfied with reality, they become high-minded idealists, feeling that it is up to them to improve everything: crusaders, advocates, critics. Into "causes" and explaining to others how things "ought" to be.

Level 5: Afraid of making a mistake: everything must be consistent with their ideals. Become orderly and well-organized, but impersonal, puritanical, emotionally constricted, rigidly keeping their feelings and impulses in check. Often workaholics—"anal-compulsive," punctual, pedantic, and fastidious.

Level 6: Highly critical both of self and others: picky, judgmental, perfectionistic. Very opinionated about everything: correcting people and badgering them to "do the right thing"—as they see it. Impatient, never satisfied with anything unless it is done according to their prescriptions. Moralizing, scolding, abrasive, and indignantly angry.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.

Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrong-doing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.

Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of "wrong-doers." Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders. 

Okay...so that took up a lot of space, but I felt it was an amazing description of who I really am! As I read through this...I keep on jumping  up in my seat going..oooo, that's me an that's me, and that is too!  Going from the beginning though:

• I hate being mean- and I repent doing any action that may be "evil-like" like fighting with my parents, or brother,
• I am driven to reach perfection- to just become what I feel is "right,"
• my dream job (since ever) is to become a doctor...and go to India or join "doctors without borders" to help those in need- because I DO feel that even one person can help in changing the World,
• I love debating with people about what I feel is correct/ good, and
  
• I want to be level-headed in my thinking- yet be driven by my passion for things.

I am not sure what more I can say- I feel that the explanation above says it all :).

-K                             

P.S. The book I want to read is: Five Point Someone – What not to do at IIT

STAC Live

We were the only ones laughing. People were shouting some weird stuff. And there was a scary vibe in the air. But all in all, I think we were really, very good for those who appreciate programs like ours; where we can let our creativity flow and use it to our benefit, the fullest. For example, I have some artsy friends that I remember that weren't very supportive of STAC/ were kinda unsure about my entering it, and are now calling me about joining STAC. Yet, personally what I felt was the biggest reward was, that when we were coming out of the auditorium after ninth period, we were all smiling and ready for anyone, who would dare, after such a show, say something bad about STAC.  And we felt a certain bond with eachother- like we presented ourselves as one to the whole school to see. I liked taht feeling of stadning up for what we do.  


I know this is kinda short, but I wanna leave it at that- on a happy note :).

Idk what to name this.....

How do you make yourself have a bit more faith in yourslef- allowing yourself to let go?

On Friday, as we did the movies, I did have fun, and it was a different experience than the filming of the other movie, but I have been noticing tons of differences in my behavior in an out of STAC. And this is not meant to hurt anyone in STAC, but yes, I am not as close to some people in STAC because of various reasons; some being us not clicking, past conflicts, some weird vibe, or whatever, but I am close to some STACies, yet, I haven't been able to open up to everyone- if you see me outside of STAC, you may see a difference. I am SO much more peppier- I constantly TALK about ANYTHING, and love to LAUGH and crack JOKES at everything/ be a DRAMA QUEEN (in a good way though)- getting sentimental/ helping others in advice. I think, in STAC I am definitely not like that, or even perceived in such a way. As far as I have been able to "perceive," I am the ninth grader, who doesn't really participate much- not talking enough with other STACies, kinda disconnected with others at time, etc. Sometimes I don't feel like what I have to say will be any good, or I might just drop lower in the eyes of many, or it may not be a good idea to interact, and etc.

I don't know if this is a lack in self-confidence, or I may be scared of making a fool of myself in front of these brilliant artists, or even feel "diiferent" than others. I am sorry, if anyone feels this to be harsh or rude or mean or hurtful- I don't maean to point this at anyone else but myself.

I don't know if this blog is a good idea or not, and I am not sure how it will be if I put myself out there, but I guess once I press "Publish Post," its out there for the World to see (well the Stac one anyways)....