Monday with Joy!

So today, I don't know how, but Joy sensed a certain hesitancy in me going first in the past couple of sessions, so she made me go first. I thought I was gonna suck; forget all my lines, forget how to act, forget all that she has taught us lately. But, I didn't forget any of them- instead I learnt more from standing up without a paper and talking directly to my audience- somethings I have to work on are subtext, whom I am speaking to, etc. For instance, I realize that its okay to kinda play off of the monologue- you can create a bit before and afterwards to show who, what , when ,where and why- I have some ideas for next week' lets see if they work out or not. But I also I did something today that I never noticed myself doing before- my character, I feel is nervous/ scared (what a coincedence, dontcha think?), and so I fidegeted a lot- I polayed with my hands, id tis thing whith my feet, and took tons of breaths- I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but I felt better about this and portraying my message. Also, I need to decide on whom I am speaking to- its a crowd of my father's family, father's few friends, and our immediate family. BUT the best part was...I DIDN'T FEEL BAD AFTERWARDS- for some reason, afterwards, I felt better about myself/ acting abilities (whatever those are) that I have been during these past few weeks. I felt comfortable in my skin, and ready to absorb all that she would throw my way, and kind of ask questions freely. Like right now, for some reason, I cannot stop smiling in the inside. Joy seriously spread joy in my day!  Can't wait till next week...